Life-Balance Analysis- Reflection entry-Coach and Coachee, by Yuchen

I think that our coaching session of this week was       better than the last one. With Awa’s joining, our conversations became even more dynamic. From a coachee’s perspective, this coaching session was very instructive. This coaching session gave us a way to share our way of living, our experience of balanced or usually unbalanced life and finally analyze it. When I was being coached, I felt comfortable and relaxed to share my point of view towards the life-balance analysis, and my coach my coach shared his sharp observation and analysis of my current problems, for example, he asked me why I rated my Intellectual activities so low while I put so many time on study. To be honest, although I explained at the moment that this aspect was considered as emotional intelligence to me, I do realize now that it’s WRONG to put so less efforts on it because the more time I spend on it, the more skills I will have when coping with other activities.

My coach pointed out that my main stressor is actually my own problem with concentration; I was too easy to be distracted and therefore lost my focus. He also shared a very instructive method to help me get rid of the procrastination, he mentioned that if people can work or study in groups, they will have less chances to be distracted by gadgets, internet, etc.

I was actually stressed when I had to coach. It was very clear to me that the purpose and goal is to help coachee crystallize his or her stressors and provide some advises accordingly which requires me to reckon the 5 steps of coaching every second. My coaching is based on the life-balance analysis where I believe my coachee has a fairly balanced life although she’s facing some restrain factors, for example, she told me that she’s facing pressures from studies. Based on this acknowledge, I think my coachee knows exactly what her stressors are, and she has an interesting perspective on the nature of stress and the different aspects of life balance. On one hand, she felt demotivated by the uncertainty, the same feeling David had. On the other hand, she was supported by her family and friends, suggesting that her social resilience should be strong. Therefore, I focused on demonstrating that this powerful strength she had and how it could influence her life balance.

During the coaching process, I was able to practice the 5 steps of coaching. However I do find it's hard to apply the mirrowing part due to the quality of my questions. Had I ask the open questions that would attract my coachee's attention, that would help me allocate her problems? I'm concerning about this part, but nevertheless, I hope our conversation touched some points.

stress management reflective entry: coachee

My coach used the life balance analysis strategy to help me overcome my stress factors. I am under pressure with school, and I am not sure about my professional future, I am not sure whether I have chosen the good path in order to achieve my goals, and what is more stressful for me is the fear that I might have to stay abroad for a long time, away from my family and friends who are in Senegal.

After discussion, my coach showed me that I am, actually kind of successful in what I am doing, I do have good marks at school and I am not worried about getting a good degree. about the loneliness, I am living with friends and I always manage to go back every year to visit family and friends in Senegal. 

Also, there are so many free ways to communicate (viber , skype…) that I should not worry about people forgetting me.

Using the life balance strategy, I had already tried to come up with some solutions to overcome my stress factors. I started walking an hour and a half to come and go from school, which really helps me clear my mind. My coach also advised me to have a little more cultural activities that will help me concentrate on something else but future and career issues.x

stress management reflective entry (coach)

My coachee used the “small wins strategy” to try to overcome the stress he is under, mainly based on uncertainty about his professional future. Using the life balance analysis strategy, asked him questions that led me to the answer that he has a somehow balanced life. My coachee took a big decision by deciding to change his whole career, and know he is not sure whether he would get a good job over summer. Also, he said that he spend 90% of his time studying, which is not very healthy I think.

The good thing about him is that he has some ways of improving other aspects of his daily routine. For example, he does not go to the gym, but he walks an hour every day to go and come from university; although, he does not go out very much (to go to movies, or drinks with friends…), he plays card game that required a lot of concentration with friends. Those activities help him think about something different from university and career.

My advice was to invest more time on social activities, get new experiences that will help him forget about the stressing subjects. That way, he might even find solutions to his issues such as getting his team to work together for a good grade. Most of all, I tried to emphasize that he should not give up on anything that makes him stressed. He should consider them as life challenges he has to overcome with unstressful activities.

Stress management reflective entries (coachee and coach)

My session as Coachee (Small wins and life balance analysis)

For my session as coachee, although I submitted my text as “the small wins strategy”, my coach decided to coach me based on “life balance analysis”.  Within the “seven slices of the pie”, I was putting a lot of emphasis on the work and intellectual activities (university studies), while neglecting somewhat the cultural and social activities.  In order to help ensure that there is better balance in my life, my coach suggested a few possible activities.  Regarding my initial “stress” formulation using small wins, this corresponds well to taking breaks to avoid getting burned out and working inefficiently.

For my worries regarding my studies, my coach assured me that I was going the right way, that implicating myself proactively in term projects is the best way to: (1) reduce stress regarding uncertainty about the projects; (2) ensure that I will achieve the best results possible.  As for worries regarding finding summer work, my coach had no specific strategies in mind for me, although she encouraged me to be proactive and not wait until it was too late to try to find summer employment.

My session as Coach (life balance analysis)

My coachee submitted his text as “life balance analysis”, and I coached him based on that paradigm.  I expressed surprise when he suggested that he was “high” in the work slice while simultaneously being low in the intellectual activities slice.  My coachee replied that he considered intellectual activities to be exclusive of university studies.  My coachee expressed the fact that he felt a bit like his communication tools (surfing internet etc.) ruled him.  He stated that it was too easy to “take a little break” to surf or consult Facebook instead of working.  To contrast this, my coachee expressed the possibility of devoting an hour of “downtime” each day to concentrate on spiritual activities – he considered that a small step.  I replied that setting aside one hour was a huge step and congratulated him on his initiative.  I also stated that it need not be an hour, just so that he feels relaxed and refreshed at the end of each “downtime” session.

In addition to his “internet attraction”, my coachee also stated that he felt that he sometimes spent too much time in his room, in his “comfort zone”.  Another problem was his tendency to procrastinate on university assignments.  I suggested a possibility to “kill two birds with one stone”.  He could make “study dates” with classmates and work on assignments.  That would “get him out of his room” and also help him advance in his homework.  I did not mention it, but the fact that one is doing work cooperatively with other classmates is a great incentive not to procrastinate.  One does not want to arrive at the study date having done no work in advance, as the study partner(s) would feel as though they were being taken advantage of.  It is important to be a contributor of ideas within any study group.  Being part of a study group could reduce the “last minute” stress that he was sometimes experiencing.

Life balance analysis (by Awa DIALLO)

Causes of stress are numerous, and in the working environment, it is often caused by unqualified managers. Lewin (1951) suggested that stress can be considered as a force field where the restraining forces have more power than the driving forces.

Stress at work is mainly a consequence of a bad working environment. However, it can also come from a malaise felt at home, or from a personal uncomfortable feeling; when we have that inside feeling of failure somewhere. Stress does not always involve work, but also other aspects of our lives such as physical wellness, social belonging…

To build stronger driving forces in a stage of stress, one has to be able to balance his life by Improving the way he satisfies the need of other aspects of his life. Indeed, as said in the textbook, we often privilege some sides of our daily routine to the detriment of others. For example, we know that it would benefit our body and mind to do a bit exercise (take the stairs instead of the elevator) but we would not do it because we are lazy, or because there is too much work to do to think of exercising, and so on.

The life balancing analysis proposes a list of the different aspects of life that should play an important role in our social, mental and physical wellness. Then, considering the different aspect where we do not invest enough efforts, we make a list of the activities that should improve the way we take care of those aspects. The goal here is to not spend the whole following week without performing one of the activities that we listed before.

After performing the analysis of my day to day activities based on the life balance analysis tool, I realized that I do not perform enough physical activities. Also, even if I live far from my parents and most of my friends, I do not here from them as often as I should, and just a phone call to my best friend really influences my good mood. Usually, I professionally perform well when under pressure. But what stressed me is solitude. I knew that before but I was not really doing anything to work on it. This exercise really helped because I did almost everything I listed: I started walking 45 minutes instead of taking the bus to come to school, I contacted almost all my friend I did not have news from for almost a year and it all felt very good.

As a future manager, to reach conscious competence, I think I would need to use this tool as part of my daily routine. Indeed, it would allow me to know how to influence my performances at work by improving my “not work related” behavior. As a coach, I would suggest this methods to my clients as well, as it really gets you to analyse what is important for you, makes you think about what should be more important. Also, this method helps in determining how to improve your daily routine in order to reduce the risk of being overwhelmed by restraining forces.

Life-Balance Analysis by Yuchen

The figure below is my life-balance analysis form. The blue represents how much I time I feel I am satisfied or how much I have spent in each area. Consider that I am a full-time student, so I take the work activities in this form as study activities.

As you can see, the work activities and physical activities are my main focuses, followed by cultural activities and family activities. It’s true that I’m millions miles away from homeI’ve spent less time on social, spiritual and intellectual activities.

Things I can do to improve my development in areas that need it.

The spiritual activities were used to be labeled as unimportant and not urgent because I believed in looking forth and never stop. As a result, I spent most of my time on studying and working on my body and living with a pretty busy lifestyle, however I feel it could be more productive if I take some breaks and try the deep-relaxation strategy as mentioned on p.142 in Developing Management Skills which could help me recover from energy loses and unmotivated attitude caused by stresses.

Apart from the psychological buildup, there’s another issue on social aspect that must be solved: my terrible habit of passing the whole day in my room. I was so comfortable in my little comfort zone that I didn’t even want to meet new friends. Moreover, by surfing the internet for everything I needed, I don’t even have to move my feet. It’s pretty ironic that I bought myself a pair of trousers from la Maison Simons a few days ago, but it’s bought from their website instead of their offline store. In order to improve my development in social activities, I should go out and establish new social relationships which could provide opportunities to share one’s frustrations and disappointment, to receive suggestions and encouragement, and to experience emotional bonding (p.143). Perhaps I can start with participating in the activities organized by service de residence.

Things I should stop doing in order to achieve better life balance

The first thing I should stop doing is allowing technology to become my master. Internet and other gadgets are good servants and they were designed to make my life easier, not to rule it. Sometimes they also distract me from productive working, I will open a new browser and surf the internet for a few minutes while knowing that I must focus on my current work. Even though they are just a few minutes of distraction, I know this small loses would cut my thoughts and harm my productivity.

Another thing that should be stopped is the loafing, or procrastinating, to be more precisely. When I feel lack of motivation, I’ll just sit back and wait until the last minute to finish my work. Starting my works until the last two or three days before the deadline is the typical symptom of procrastination, it’ll put too much stress and eventually make people exhausted even have finished the work.

Things I’ll do to practice #2 and #3

I would like to start from today to set up an hour of internet-free time and use it to meditate or self reflect. The time looks quite short but I would like to start with this small win, and consistently doing this.

For my practice of get out and meet new friends, I am planning to visit the Montmorency Fall this week with some new faces, it would be an interesting journey for me and I might find it relaxing and helpful to reduce the stress.

The small wins strategy

The Small-Wins Strategy

What major stressor do you currently face?  My major stressor is uncertainty.  The uncertainty is in two areas, regarding my course-work for my MBA (will I be able to achieve good results in all my courses?), and regarding my ability to find rewarding work during the upcoming summer period and my future career.

What are the major attributes or components of the situation?  Regarding course-work, my major components are the term projects, in particular for marketing.  In fact, the only course where I feel confident that I will be able to succeed with no problems is GSO 6006.  Regarding finding a “stage” for the summer and future career prospects, it is challenging determining how to go about re-orienting my career.  I worry that employers will not consider me for employment as they consider that my 20+ years of employment “over-qualifies” me for any positions they may have available.

What are the subcomponents?  For GSO-6006, the course is all quantitative, and thus far I feel that I am mastering it well.

Attribute 1: For MNG-6133, my worry is that the quality of my work may not be sufficient in general.

Attribute 2: For CTB-6007, I am doing all right from week to week, but I have some concerns regarding the end of term project. 

Attribute 3: For MRK-6004, I have concerns about my capabilities as it is a “non-quantitative” course in French requiring a team term project, which makes for a lot of uncertainty about whether I can perform well enough. 

Attribute 4: As for finding work and future career prospects, my biggest initial concern is finding a full-time job for the summer months that will help direct me toward an interesting career – if the employer would like me to continue on a part time basis during the upcoming Fall and Winter terms, that would be a bonus.  I am not yet concerned about long term career prospects.

What actions can I take?  For MNG-6133, I will try my best during the individual and team work and “let the chips fall where they may”.  For CTB-6007, I will initiate getting together with team members to get started on the term team project.  For MRK-6004, I will actively search out what activities that I can perform in order to best contribute to the team term project.  For finding a summer job, I will enroll in SPUL services, I will ensure that my LinkedIn profile under FSA-MBA ULaval is the best possible, and I will look into other networking possibilities to give myself the best chance to find a good summer job.

What actions helped me best cope with previous similar stressful situations?  For course-work, my previous successful strategies were to spend the “week-off” from courses to get ahead on term assignments, and also to take breaks from school work.  After too many 10+ hour days in a row my productivity plummets, so occasionally clearing my mind by doing something unrelated helps me in the long term.  As for finding gainful summer employment, my last employment search was many years ago, so my memory fails me, I will just try to “get myself noticed” for potential job opportunities.

What small thing should I feel good about regarding previous coping strategies?  For course-work, getting ahead of things during the reading week worked well for me previously, so I think that I can make a good dent in end of session projects.  For finding employment, I will just try my best, I do not have any specific strategy in mind.