Coaching meeting reflective entry (David
Demers)
- · The coaching meeting will be to discuss and develop your understanding of what a good coach is with your coach
As the
coachee, I questioned my coach on a few points that I found interesting and
even somewhat surprising in his “500 worder”.
The coach must create a conducive atmosphere, and he must also develop a
good understanding of “where the coachee is” and where he is going. Of course, the final destination is often not
immediately in view, but the coach must provide direction and feasible
objectives on the way there. When there appear
to be barriers, the coach must facilitate uncovering the root problems and
provide tools to the coachee to help in overcoming the problems.
What
surprised me about my coaching experience (as coach and coachee) was that the
conversation went to areas that I never could have anticipated. I suppose that it should not have been a
surprise since a goal of coaching is self-discovery of hidden character flaws
(skeleton in the closet). That goal is
to shine light on the bones to understand what is/was there and how to overcome
them, to leave them behind.
The key to
coaching success is that the coachee goes into the exercise in the right
mind-set. He must work hard to obtain
success, so having a negative outlook on coaching will make success virtually
impossible. That being said, the role of
the coach is not easy either. The coach
must, at least partially, “get into the head” of the coachee to understand his
challenges and steer him toward solutions.
This is difficult enough when the coach and coachee share a common
background, but it is even more difficult when they are different cultures or
even different genders. Some cultures may
find it difficult to “open up” to their coach (a classmate). Other people may find it difficult “to let
down their guard” if a member of the diad or triad is of another gender. One could say that our coaching is a
professional interaction, but the information being shared could get quite
personal and it is not always easy for certain people to “let down their guard”.
Especially if that person has been
putting forth “a façade” for so long that they have almost lost touch with “the
person underneath”. There must be great
trust in the process, it must be understood, even stated out loud, that
coaching conversations are confidential – that “what is said in the room stays
in the room” (my apologies to Las Vegas tourism commercials).
Awa Diallo, From February-02-14 10:42 AM email
ReplyDeleteAs a future company leader, it is important to know how to get people to do exactly what you want them to do, and in the way you want them to do it. I think that is why we need coaching skills in order to be good managers. The way I see it, a coach has to profoundly understand the person he is coaching. Of course, it is essential to follow the key steps of coaching: Listening, Mirroring, Summarizing, Questioning and Catalyzing; but it is also very important to culturally know the person you are coaching, in order to effectively make him see “what he can be rather than what he is” (A. Parasheghian). Being aware of the coachee cultural and personal convictions will make it easier for the coach to make him evolve. Let us take the example of Rafiki in “The Lion King”, from the section we saw in class, it was easy for the old baboon to create a feeling of trust between him and Simba simply because he knew his father. In a more realistic world, I strongly believe that a coach will have a higher impact when he knows the words to say to his coachee; which is different from one person to another. Indeed, in the mirroring step of coaching, the coach needs to reformulate the coachees’ words and actions in the right manners and vocabulary. In order to accomplish his task, the coach needs to know the coachees’ personal values, even if the coachee does not tell them.
In the professional field, this cultural aspect can be considered as negligible because it all comes to professional outcomes. However, you still need to know the person working for you to be able to know what would catalyze his motivation. Just an example, the way I would build a feeling of trust, essential in a “coach – coachee” realationship between me and my workers would be different form one employee to another. If the person comes from a western education, I know that to motivate him and catalyze his creative mid would involve being very unpersonal and only care about the professional outcome. On the other hand, an African would need warmth for a good coaching relationship. You would have better result with the person if you get interested in his family, go to your workers family gathering (weddings, funerals) in order to show your commitment. It is even considered as an offense if your boss does not assist to your family big ceremonies.
In conclusion, I would really consider the cultural background of my employees in order to have better coaching results.
Awa Diallo, from February-02-14 10:42 AM email
ReplyDeleteI did this part of the assignment with Miss Khadija Fall, a friend I went to high school with and I currently live with. I guess she was easy to talk to because we come from the same country and basically have the same education and values. I was acting as the coach and she was the coachee. I understood from our one hour conversation that the knowing coachees’ personality is crucial, which makes coaching an uncertain science. I knew her well so acting as a coach with her was somehow easy. The thing is, she has a very strong personality, and therefore, it was hard to make her understand that I was helping her, not criticizing with the questions I was asking (still in the acting). She commented that if that was a real situation, she would feel harassed by the questions I was asking (in the mirroring step); when for me the coach, I was just reformulating what she told me in my own words. So, in addition to the culture, the coach needs to evaluate the caochees’ personality in during the first steps of the process. Even in the professional environment, you need to know your employees personalities for a more effective managing strategy. Indeed, some people only need financial motivation to better perform; whereas others would need to feel like they are pat of a family and need more attention. I have been a team leader once but I did not have to coach my team members, just to supervise their work and answer to their questions. However, know that I am thinking about it, if I have to talk to them into better performances, would be an effective coach? I strongly believe that whatever the employee and the situation, the biggest strengths I would need as a coach would be patience and calm. I would then be able to listen carefully and observe my employees’ behaviour in order to know the right motivating actions to undertake.
First of all I would like to thank David for his patient and we really had a wonderful conversation on our first coaching journey. We began with me as the coachee and David as the coach. To be honest, I was a bit afraid of being incapable to deliver a good coaching experience to him at first. However, as the conversation went on, he had successfully created a comfort and trusting environment for coachee just like what he has emphasized in his coaching summary. Trust and comfort can really help coachee to lay down their defenses and it’s unimaginable what’s left there for a coach to do when his coachee is building a great wall in the mind. There are many approaches to create such a comfort and trusting atmosphere, such as music, a cup of coffee or some warming conversation, but most of all, what coach needs to do is to distract the coachee for a while so when they come back on the topic, the coachee won’t feel so intense or under pressure.
ReplyDeleteAnother interesting topic came up when we were talking about the resistance to change and the comfort zone. David showed me a very thoughtful video which he has posted on the forum as well. In this video, the four characters represent our different reactions when facing changes, whether we are always welcoming changes or resisting them. When we are very stubborn and uncertain towards the future, then it would be very helpful if there’s a coach who can give us a hand.